My Father's Castle; My Father's Condo
By Timothy Allinson, P.E.
Murray Company, Long Beach, Calif.
In past articles I have noted that sometimes it is impossible to write about traditional technical subject matter when personal issues weigh heavily on the mind. This is such an occasion.
Last week I took a trip to New York to help my father. He had sold his home and was moving into an apartment (a rented condo). It was my duty to assist him, or more accurately, to handle every single detail of this momentous event. Dad is 86 years old and in good health, but this was way out of his league. Even as a young man, such physical and emotional challenges were not his strong suit.
Dad lived in his home in Larchmont for more than 40 years and little had been done to it in that time. The house was built in 1928, nearly 4,000 sq. ft. plus attic, basement, and garage, all crammed with stuff as old as I am. I knew I had my work cut out for me.
Prior to arrival I did what I could from 3,000 miles away. I ordered new beds and linens for the condo; I scheduled a moving and hauling company to execute all the work I could not do alone; and I planned a cocktail party to celebrate his move to the new residence. That was the easy part. I didn't know that I didn't know what was in store for me, to use a phrase from my March article.
Upon arrival at the old home (the house I grew up in) I was reminded that the value of a home is determined to a large extent by the plumbing -- the quality of the kitchen and baths. The house was in dire need of renovation. All four baths and the kitchen had hardly been touched since 1928.
While I lived in NY I did replace several fixtures for mom and dad. The original water closets were a cutting edge 1928 design of one--piece, low profile china. But they required new flush mechanisms and tank covers and nothing could be found to fix the original parts, so they were replaced with new fixtures. The original pedestal lavatories had separate hot and cold water taps spread about 20-in. wide, and they were stained and cracked. Those too were replaced with new retro equivalents. Everything else was original, including the enormous enameled cast iron kitchen sink with integral 12-in. backsplash and drain boards on both sides. The 1970s wood-tone Formica countertops ruined any character the fixture might have had.
The original furnace was the size of a Volkswagen Bus, and was replaced several years ago with a more powerful, more efficient unit that was smaller than a clothes washer. It's amazing the technological advances that have been made even in the mature industries of plumbing and heating.
The condo, in contrast, was newly renovated and had a lovely kitchen and baths. The kitchen had granite countertops and stainless-steel appliances. The baths were tastefully renovated with the original refurbished art-deco tile and new fixtures. It was clear that dad was going to be much more comfortable in his new, clean environment, because of the superior plumbing if nothing else.
Those of you who have had the experience of moving a family member out of an old home should have a sense for what my week in New York was like. Everything was about as difficult as it could have possibly been. Travel was delayed due to weather, so we (my family and I) didn't arrive until midnight and didn't get to sleep until 2 a.m. That set the precedent for the week -- asleep at 2 a.m. and up at 6 a.m. every day.
Day 1: Packing
The first day was spent packing. Antique china, kitchenware, clothes, office papers -- there was a lot to do and a lot of decisions to be made in 1 day. The decision making process of which clothes to keep and what documents to save exhausted my father. He slept most of the day in his chair, forcing me to take responsibility for most of the decisions. When he woke, my father was not himself. It was obvious that despite making the process as painless as possible for him, it had still taken a toll.
That evening we went out to dinner but my dad was in bad shape. He had difficulty walking and became very disoriented. In short, he had a minor stroke during dinner -- the main event I didn't know that I didn't know was going to happen.
Fortunately Dad was OK and has recovered completely, but for most of the balance of the visit he was in very poor condition. This made things that much more difficult of course, caring for him, moving his residence, cleaning out his house, and entertaining my kids all at the same time. It was without a doubt the most stressful week of my life.
Day 2: Moving Day
Thank goodness for Ron's Trucking out of Yonkers. They were a blessing. A team of five men moved my dad's stuff from the house to the condo in 6 hours and did so for the quoted price (as many of you know, moving companies are not always known for performing on time or on budget). By 2 a.m. my wife and I had Dad unpacked and settled in to his new condo.
Day 3: Cleanout Day
Fortunately Ron's Trucking ran behind schedule that day. This gave me time to pack up a lot of stuff that I missed on Day 2. Plus, I had to take dad to the hospital for a CT scan. At 3 p.m. a team of 10 men with two 24-foot trucks descended on the house like vultures on a carcass. In 4 hours they had the house picked clean of 40 years of garbage, even down to a rotting cord of wood on the back porch. The floors were broom swept and carpets were vacuum cleaned complete with Carpet Fresh. I was amazed. These guys saved my life, and I tipped them accordingly.
Days 4 & 5
Days 4 & 5 consisted of an attempt at a little family fun in Manhattan. Having lived there unencumbered by children for 15 years, I had no idea how hard it was going to be to get around the city with a tandem stroller on the subway. It was a nightmare. Quite honestly, I don't know how or why people raise children there. I guess not that many actually do -- not compared to most suburban communities anyway.
The evening of Day 5 we ran late getting back to dad's condo, where we were throwing him a housewarming cocktail party. When we finally did get to his place I was fearful of finding him in bed, as he had been most of the time during the preceding days. I feared the party would have to be canceled at the last minute. But when I got there at 6:15 p.m., just over an hour prior to the party, dad was out of bed, on the terrace, impeccably dressed and groomed, with a gin & tonic in one hand and a cigarette in the other -- I was thrilled! My dad had returned from the stroke-induced semi-coma of the past days and was ready to celebrate. The party was a great success.
Day 6: The Cats
My dad had inherited two cats from my mom. Dad cared for the cats but preferred not to take them with him to the condo. He did not need the extra responsibility. I was able to place the cats, but catching them in the now empty house was not as easy, especially since they were scared to death of me and completely stressed out by the house cleaning process. If I had a camera the footage would have been priceless. Suffice it to say that 2 hours later I had the cats in their carriers and off to their new home.
Day 7: Tying Up Loose Ends
Day 7 was our last chance to tie up loose ends, hanging artwork, a new BBQ for the terrace, hooking up the stereo, and so on. We flew back that evening, and the return flight was just as problematic as the first flight had been. Fifteen hours each way from California to New York was exhausting, but given the nature of the week, I didn't expect otherwise. In short, the trip was hard but successful. Mission accomplished.
Footnote: the title of this article is taken from the names of two wonderful French films, My Father's Glory, and its sequel, My Mother's Castle. Rent them if you get the chance.
Timothy Allinson is a Senior Professional Engineer with Murray Company, Mechanical Contractors, in Long Beach, Calif. Prior to entering the design-build industry he worked for Popov Engineers, Inc. in Irvine, Calif, and JB&B in New York City. Tim holds a BSME from Tufts University and an MBA from New York University. He is a professional engineer licensed in both mechanical and fire protection engineering in various states, and is a leed Accredited Professional. Tim is a past-president of ASPE, both the New York and Orange County Chapters, and sits on the board of the Society of American Military Engineers, Orange County Post.